Goal-Setting 2023: Is Skipping New Year’s Resolutions A Big Mistake?

Instead of beating yourself up for procrastination, let’s look at the bright side.

Many 2023 goal-setters have already begun to give up and fail…

But by starting now, you have an opportunity to sit down and get more intentional – rather than just making a knee-jerk resolution because it seems culturally appropriate or because a couple of your friends thought it would be a good idea. 

Some of the common mistakes people make in their resolutions include:

• Being Too Ambitious (Or Too Conservative) With Your Goals – Overly-ambitious or unrealistic goals can create excitement, but it’s also a great way to set yourself up for failure. On the other hand, goals that are too small and easy can feel pointless. Some experts will warn you away from audacious goals completely, but think about it this way: not quite reaching something huge is a whole lot better than crushing it at something insignificant. You may very well end up a lot further ahead in life by “failing” at the former. Plus, if you consider the let-down many high achievers report when they do get to their own finish line, it doesn’t hurt to always leave yourself something to strive for. My advice? Set goals that light your fire but then break these bigger goals down into milestones so you can create a little momentum starting out and yet still have something left over to work towards.
• Failing To Engage In Systems Thinking – Another pitfall when people strive for change, regardless of the time of year, is their goals are focused more on outcomes than the system or process that produces said outcome. Yes, failing to plan or create a roadmap that gets you from A to Z is a great way to strike out with your new year’s resolutions in 2023. Whether you’re trying to achieve something or stop doing something, define exactly what that looks like, and then define exact steps that will get you there. Finally, define times when you will implement these steps. The process of change doesn’t happen with good intentions alone — you need ACTION. (Read my “27 Mind Hacks” article for how-to advice on systemizing behavioral change.)

• Leaning On The Social Media Brownie Points – Of course, this is a huge problem in today’s attention-addicted social media society. Perhaps you’ve been told you need to hold yourself accountable to a goal or behavioral change by leaning on support from the community and making a big announcement. But this article from Psychology Today tells us people who publicly share their goals are less likely to follow through on them (and getting compliments on progress makes it even worse!). Why? It’s possible you get an emotional reward from a social media announcement (“Hey, look at me and how driven and disciplined I am”), and this may dampen the allure of actually working toward that goal and achieving it. So forget the social media brownie points, or at least save them until you’ve actually earned them!
• Not Getting Specific Enough With Your New Year’s Resolutions – Again, it’s about setting clear, measurable goals – not making some broad, vague intention. “I will lose X pounds in X months” is way more powerful than “I will get slim again.” Write down exactly what you want to accomplish, and if possible, attach it to a specific time-frame or deadline so there’s zero question at all when you finally hit your target. Some other examples include “I will increase sales revenue by X in the first 3 months of 2023,” or “I will put $X in a savings account every single month in 2023.” (Here’s another article on how to create clearly defined goals.)
• Trying To Do Too Many Things At Once – Finally, don’t fall for the trap of shooting for too many big changes at once. Sure, we’d all like to quit drinking, cut down to a 6-pack, seduce an attractive new lover, and build a successful million dollar per year business… all in 2023, please… but let’s pace ourselves here. In his article, “The Scientific Argument For Mastering One Thing At A Time,” James Clear makes a convincing, research-backed argument that even ultra-specific, time-sensitive goals work best when you stick with just one or two. If there are other areas of your life you want to improve in the meanwhile, keep your efforts in these areas small and manageable (perhaps by using the “Tiny Habit” method). You’ve only got to slay one big dragon at a time to create radical life momentum as the years go by. Alternatively, break your year up and focus your entire energy on different pursuits at different times.