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Striving for Perfection Is Keeping You From Your Best
We all want to be the best versions of ourselves. When we fail to do something to the best of our ability, most of us hold ourselves accountable and use that as a motivator to improve. That’s a good thing, as it prevents us from settling for less than our best.
But perfectionists take it to the next level. They create ideals and hold themselves to incredibly high standards that are unachievable. No matter what they do, they always fall short and pick out the negative. Because of that, perfectionists rarely think what they do is good enough.
The irony is that perfectionism gets in its own way. Research by Niki Hayatbini and colleagues at Miami University links it with less flexible thinking, and rigid thinking makes good work harder, not easier.
Perfectionism stands in the way of perfection. Rather than striving for an impossible standard, you would be better off accepting your imperfect achievements in all their glory.
The Negative Consequences of Perfectionism
The goal of perfectionism is to make your life and everything you achieve perfect. Rather than doing so, this logical fallacy (also known as The Nirvana Fallacy) is making your life significantly worse for several reasons.
It Keeps You Polishing Work That Is Already Done
When we fix on what’s missing or broken, we can’t make real progress. A task is done to a good standard, and the perfectionist keeps working on minor details while everything else waits.
Perfectionists experience anxiety and stress over unimportant things. Nobody is perfect, and nothing you do will ever be faultless. Rather than moving on when the job’s done, they fixate on the negative.
The psychologist Alice Boyes, who writes on the subject, makes the same point: striving for excellence turns against you when it means keeping habits past their usefulness, delivering more than anyone asked for, or overthinking every decision.
It Causes Us to Avoid Challenges
Hayatbini’s research links perfectionism with lower cognitive flexibility. This leads to all or nothing thinking; you either pass or fail, something is either perfect or it’s not. There is no in-between. Since perfection is near impossible to achieve, many perfectionists expect to fail whatever they do.
As a result, perfectionism leads to procrastination. When they think something is too difficult or impossible, they decide to put it off until later. Others avoid taking on challenges altogether: they try to win by not losing.
It Takes a Toll on Your Well-Being
Rather than appreciating the world as it is, perfectionism tells us to discount reality by comparing it to the “perfect world,” or an impossible standard. That takes a toll. Rather than stopping to relax and truly appreciate the world around them, perfectionists are constantly stressing over the imperfections around them.
When they fail to reach impossible standards, they are forced to adopt a number of defense tactics to save themselves from embarrassment. They try to push the task to the back of their mind. In the long run, this leads to a heightened level of stress and worry.
Psychologists who study perfectionism, Paul Hewitt and Gordon Flett among them, have linked it with depression and anxiety. If your own standards are leaving you anxious or low most days, talk to a doctor or a therapist: this is something they help with.
How to Battle Perfectionism
Now we know the negative impact that perfectionism has on our life, we can work on combating it.
1. Stop Ruminating
As we have already identified, most perfectionists are constantly analyzing and overthinking problems, without ever arriving at a solution. According to Rebecca Knight, writing in Harvard Business Review, ruminating gets in the way of good work, so we need to break the cycle.
You can stop dwelling on imperfections by distracting yourself with another cognitively absorbing task. Rather than overthinking or overanalyzing something, once you’ve completed a task, distract yourself with a podcast or go for a walk with a friend.
Even a short time on a simple, absorbing task can lift you out of the mood that leads to obsessing over details.
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Try it free for 14 daysA website and app blocker such as FocusMe helps from the other side. Block the sites and apps that distract you and give the piece of work, a college essay or a work report, one session on a Quick Timer. When the timer ends, stop, send it and move on.
2. Track Your Progress
To overcome perfectionism, you need to fight back against all-or-nothing thinking. Just because something is imperfect, doesn’t mean you have failed. One way is a weekly review: a few minutes to look at how far you’ve come and what you have achieved.
Even if you’ve fallen short of an impossible standard, by reminding yourself of your progress, you can retrain your mind to focus on the positive, rather than dwelling on the negative.
Better still, doing so will enable you to see how your past failings helped you learn from your mistakes. In doing so, you can slowly view failure as a positive, an opportunity to learn something new, rather than a sign that you have failed.
3. Create a Reason to Move On
Given all the time in the world, most of us probably would be perfectionists. We would spend hours on end perfecting that business report or that university essay. But we don’t have all the time in the world. With the deadline fast approaching, we do the best we can in the time available, hand in the finished product and forget about it. As we can’t change it past the due date, dwelling on it would be pointless.
Not every aspect of life is like this. But to prevent yourself from re-working something until it’s “perfect” you might benefit from creating a self-imposed deadline. Set a timer or pencil in a deadline date in your calendar. Whatever you do, just move on once your allocated time has passed.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Why is perfectionism self-sabotaging?
It sets standards nobody can meet, so you delay starting, overthink, and never feel that what you did was good enough. The behavior blocks the progress it is aiming for.
How can someone recognize they are being too perfectionistic?
Some signals are:
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You often rework or overanalyze finished work.
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You delay starting tasks because you doubt you’ll meet your high standard.
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You feel dissatisfied even when results are objectively good.
How do you overcome perfectionism?
Stop ruminating once a task is done, review your progress each week so you see what went right, and give every piece of work a deadline, real or self-imposed, after which you move on.
Can perfectionism ever have positive effects?
Yes. Wanting to do your best is not the problem. It becomes harmful when the standard is unrealistic, when it stops you finishing work, or when it leaves you anxious or low.
How can FocusMe help with perfectionism?
FocusMe blocks the sites and apps you choose, on a timer or a schedule. Working to a fixed session with the distractions closed gives a piece of work a clear end, which is the point at which to stop polishing.
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